Inside My Road Rage: Part 2 — When it Rains >:@

**** RANT AHEAD***

I hate when it rains. Period. It’s always so inconvenient. The only time I allow myself to appreciate it is if I’m at home, (preferably in a zinc house) about to go to bed and I’m hearing the heavy drops of water pound on the sheets of metal, creating that oh-so-loud yet oh-so-soothing sound that just makes me just… makes me… make… m…

*Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

Huh… Oh yes, my rant *stretches*.
But yeah, due to how I’m unmarried, not a plant, nor the Sahara desert, I really don’t enjoy the rain. And yes, rain is for married people! Yuh cyaa tell me nuttin. It (rain, not the married people thing!) always happens when I need to go somewhere, I waa play ball, or some outside-ish activity. Just cyaa deal wid it! But you know when it’s the worst? While walking on the road. That s#!+ ain’t cool.

AT. ALL.
Now I truly understand the wrath of a ghetto man or woman who flings a big stone in s’mady’s windshield after being splashed. It’s not a smart thing to do, as in this day and age you don’t know who will come out of their vehicle and just pop a cap in your @$$ and go back in the vehicle and drive off like nothing happened. But I understand, and t’were it not for the grace of God *hallelu*, I SWEAR. I wudda mash up a man windshield tideh!!! (Today, May 16, 2013)


 The image to the left is nothing like how the road usually looks on Maxfield Ave. or Hagley Park Road when it rains in Kingston, but you can clearly see the water near the sidewalk.

WHY THE HELL PEOPLE FEEL SEH DEM MUSS DRIVE FAAS WHEN WATA DEH PAN DI ROAD AND DEM SI PEOPLE A WALK?!
ARE YOU GUYS INVITING US TO HAVE TARGET PRACTICE OR TEST THE ACCURACY OF OUR ARMS WITH YOUR WINDSHIELDS?! IF YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED, IT’S A DAMN. BIG. TARGET!!!

JEEEEEZ! Now I’m not a violent person, and anyone who knows me can vouch for that. I’m not “ignorant”, nor do I “get ignorant” on people, and I’m not a supporter of using force to get things accomplished. But the good Lord saw and knew today, that at approximately 3:20P.M. on my way to the Ministry of Transport, Works and Housing, when dat EEEEEEEEDIIIIIAAAAAATTTT driving that white cyaar wet up mi good, good pants, (thank God for little mercies; it was just my pants–but still), I REALLY WISH I had a big stone to fling. If I could have one ignorant moment, that would be it. I would fling my shoulder outta socket to mek sure the windshield buss. And then the man have the NERVE to be looking around at me–I had stopped in my tracks with a pissed off look on my face–with not even a forced apology. He just looked for a while, and drove off. Bet if a half a brick was hurled it wouldn’t guh suh.
Merely seconds after, another car zipped past, this time dousing a bicycle man that was going along his way. Fortunately for somebody–not sure which onethere were no stones around and a police vehicle drove past in the same instant, so he perhaps resorted to 7 kinds of clarts.

It’s not rocket science. The roads are wet, so people ought to drive with more caution, and look out for persons who weren’t gifted with 4-wheeled protection from the elements. Thank God for that one dude who slowed down… or maybe it was ’cause he was approaching a stoplight. I dunno. This is not America though. Splashing someone with dirty water from the roads ain’t no peccadilloes! A simple *insert nerdy white voice here* “WTF man?” with mouth agape will not do. These drivers better not try that mess in the ghetto. They’ll just hear glass shatter and wonder who or what the hell hit them. I’ve certainly learned my lesson. I will walk with a large earthen piece of material clearly displayed in my hand next time.

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5 thoughts on “Inside My Road Rage: Part 2 — When it Rains >:@

  1. Oh gosh! I feel your pain. I remember once when I was on my way to school (high school) and a man went down in a big pot hole and splashed my socks and shoes wid di dutty wata. Some of it even caught my skin. The driver didn't even stop to say sorry.

    Many times have gone by in which this has happened to me, especially in the town of Mandeville.

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  2. I feel your pain dwl but it funny bad lol … I remember when that happened to man downtown luckily for him the car had to slow to a stop. Driver naah pree him, window well wind down, ongle fi si do man grab a higgler bucket a dutty wata and fling it back pan di driver! dwl lol … revenge is sweet 🙂

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  3. Really annoying. I feel for ya and I make a point of slowing down so I don't splash anyone, but potholes with water are virtually hidden so those drivers MAY not have seen it coming even if you driving slow. But its never funny. I know of people who have had to go back home to change for work or got some skin infection. Not funny.

    It's also dangerous when a passing vehicle deposits a ton load of water on your car while driving. Ever been covered by a wave while driving?

    Some people are just sooooo inconsiderate and ignorant.

    BTW splashing on the road is a straight to court offence.
    K. Gayle (KatG)

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  4. I didn't know it was a court offence! I guess I'll take licence plate numbers when it happens if I remember or I'm not too busy looking for a boulder 😉

    I can imagine the wave tho… Can't see nuttin and so anything can happen!

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