S(t)inking Lakers

My Lakers suck.

Its that simple really. What was supposed to be an awesome season with the marquee acquisitions of Dwight Howard and Steve Nash has turned into a Dwightmare nightmare. If your best coach in a season was the unknown assistant Bernie Bickerstaff (4W-1L) and the record now stands at 17W-25L, then you know its a straaaaaange season, especially when the other two coaches were (and I really hope “were” becomes reality!) Mike Brown (former Cleveland LeBroniers–fine Cavaliers coach) and the former Phoenix and New York coach Mike D’Antoni (the D is silent… trust me). Two big time coaches in their own rights.
(L-R) Steve Nash, 2-Time MVP, Dwight Howard (3-Time D.P.O.Y.), Kobe Bryant 5x NBA Champ 1MVP etc, Pau Gasol 2x NBA Champ and Metta World Peace (formerly Ron Artest) 1.D.P.O.Y Trophy and NBA Champ
The Lakers starting lineup, boasting at least 2 future hall of famers, regular season MVP crowns, multiple All Star selections, Defensive Player of the Year awards etc. has failed to play like they’ve earned any of those awards, save for one Kobe Bean Bryant. But as the wear and tear of the season rolls on, even Kobe hasn’t been doing so well, suffering fresh losses to the Toronto Raptors (really?! after 81 points?!) and the Chicago Bulls, WITHOUT Luol Deng and Derrick Rose! (I expected them to lose to Memphis).
The cries for a new coach continue to ring out from me as well as other fans, prompting me to go as far as wondering if D’Antoni should be in the food business upon discovering a strange resemblance to a popular snack.
As for Dwight Howard’s storied free throw woes, in the spirit of Martin Luther King Jr. day, someone felt that it was time for a new dream. I didn’t make the pic I just tweeted it; scout’s honor!

When the Lakers hired Mike ‘Antoni (the D is also invisible), I believe I read that it was because his offensive system best suited the current Laker roster, more than the Zen Master himself, Phil Jackson. WHAT the HELL?!! Let’s compare rosters from Phil’s last championship season to this one:

2009-10 Lakers Roster:

PG Derek Fisher
SG Kobe Bryant
SF Ron Artest (now Metta World Peace)
PF Pau Gasol
C Andrew Bynum

Bench: Shannon Brown G, Sasha Vujacic G, Josh Powell F, Lamar Odom F, Jordan Farmar G, D.J. Mbenga C, Luke Walton F and Adam Morrison (who almost NEVER played btw) F.

Compare that roster to the 2012-13 one:

PG Steve Nash
SG Kobe Bryant
SF Metta World Peace
PF Pau Gasol (Earl Clark? :S)
C Dwight Howard

Bench: Chris Duhon G. Darius Morris G, Steve Blake G (although he’s been injured forever!), Jodie Meeks G, Antawn Jamison F, Earl Clark F, Robert Sacre C and Jordan Hill F/C (out for season *womp*)

How can this current LA Team not be doing well?! Only Lamar Odom (then), Jordan Farmar and Shannon Brown from that team could probably knock off a few bench players from the current team’s bench. I could totally see Phil utilizing these guys the same way he did with his last championship team.

I want to say LA’s problem is offense, I wanna say its defense, but at this point, EVERYTHING sucks.

To make matters worse, there are musings that a certain All-Star Center who may be a free agent soon
(or even traded; Dwightmare pt 2?!) is unhappy with the number–or lack thereof of touches he’s getting on this team. This is why, among other things, I was never a fan of trading away Andrew Bynum, who may be a knucklehead at times, but is MUCH more polished offensively and certainly capable of anchoring the Lakers’ defense despite not being as athletic as Dwight. Bynum knew and understood where he was on the pecking order. It is, and always will be, until he retires, KOBE 1st, then everybody else after. And frankly, Dwight certainly should not be complaining about touches because: 1. He’s still turning over the ball at a high rate 2. He’s getting the ball but getting fouled and still missing his FTs 3. Guys are starting to fight him from getting good post position and blocking potential lobs, although his back may have something to do with him being less effective in that regard.

I’m not surprised Kobe was the only one who stayed late after the Chicago loss to put in some serious thinking, piano playing (yes I was also surprised) and extra training, but as we can clearly see, this year, Kobe’s efforts alone WILL. NOT. BE. ENOUGH. He himself admitted that he needs help, and that’s not something normal, because the Kobe I know would tell you back in the day that he’d take on 5 guys and beat them at anytime.

So what’s the bottom line of this mini rant/analysis? The return of STEVE BLAKE! (Has to be right?)

No. Seriously now. Everybody in the Lakers organization not named Kobe needs to find their pride, wherever they put it and play like they’re the damn Lakers! The team no one wants to see in the playoffs! The team that won 5 championships from 2000-2010! The team that inspired this Ron Artest song. As it stands, (and we hope Dwight’s shoulder isn’t significantly worse), it can’t possibly get worse…Right? Although, the way these guys are playing, I really don’t wanna find out. If it doesn’t work, I say blow it all up,  coach included (obviously you keep Kobe, Nash and maybe Metta) and get some D-League guys who are willing to play the right way and scrap for everything!

If not though, here’s the first step to turning things around: sign K-Mart!


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